It takes a village...

One thing we have realized on the journey to bring S and V home is that you cannot do this on your own.  We have blessed by so many in so many ways!!

Thank you for your many prayers---prayers for the girls, prayers for paperwork to be completed, prayers for provision, prayers for our family.

Thank you for your listening ears---for hearing our concerns, struggles and sharing in our joys!

Thank you for helping us with our other kids---dropping off meals, taking them places, making things special for them.

Thank you for helping us with paperwork---reading things over, delivering items for our dossier, and the many prayers for paperwork to be completed.

Thank you for rejoicing with us as we go through the next step along the path to expanding our family.

Thank you for understanding why we are doing this even though it might not make full sense to you.

Thank you for items you have given us for sweet S and V.

Thank you for helping us with our fundraising projects---t-shirts, benefit concert, bracelets, Ginger on a Mission, and garage sale.

Thank you for continuing to pray as we prepare for our trip to bring the girls home---we are so blessed to have so many who believe in the power of prayer and are faithfully lifting us before our Source of everything.  Thank you for believing in His faithfulness and praying in that way.

He is Risen!

Happy Easter!

We sang one of my favorite songs this morning--In Christ Alone.  Our pastor talked about how we can live out our resurrection life by serving and loving others.   We have all we need in Jesus---once we have Him, we don't need status, success, things, security....He is all we need, and we are free to love and serve others.   Thanking God today for His Son and the meaning of Jesus' resurrection---in Him alone.

In Christ Alone
In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Looking to freshen your spring wardrobe??

We've got a great shirt to liven things up!!

We are hoping to sell our remaining t-shirts to help fund our travel costs to bring S and V home.   And we have lots left!  Help!

We would be so grateful if you would share this post with any one you know who might be interested in a very great adoption t-shirt.  On the front the shirt says "Adopting a child won't change the world, but for that child, the world will change"  and on the back "We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19".  The t-shirts are $15 each and are available in adult sizes small to XXL.

And we have some beautiful bracelets for $8 to go along with your t-shirt!  Mother's Day is around the corner:)  If you buy a bracelet, half of the money goes to our adoption and the other half to help Haitian parents provide for their families!

Speaking of Mother's Day, how about a new purse?  Or something to hold all the pesty cards you have?  A group on Etsy called Ginger on a Mission approached us and will donate half of the amount sold toward our adoption.  They have some great items---click on their logo on the sidebar to see their stock and prices on Etsy.  If you do purchase from them, mention this blog or Diana and Anne (the pseudonames for the girls).

We would appreciate it if you would pass this link on to those who you think might like any of the items we are selling.  We would love to try and make as much as we could to cover airfare, hotel and travel costs in country, especially as we will be traveling in the more expensive travel months.

Empowered...

I love that word!  Bill and I recently went to an Empowered to Connect conference for foster and adoptive parents.  It was an amazing couple of days!  Our foster care/adoption ministry has all of Dr. Karyn Purvis' DVDs so we are very familiar with her and love what we have read and seen already.

The conference was so much more!  We both walked away truly feeling empowered to help S and V.  One quote that Michael and Amy Monroe had that hit home in many ways was "there is no adoption without loss".  We will know of some of the losses our girls have experienced but many of the other losses only God will know---and we want to help them walk through the healing.

I will share some of the great quotes from the weekend and hope to add more about what we learned later.  Three things that Dr. Purvis' ideas focus on are empowering, connecting and correcting---working on body, spirit and soul.  For our childrens' bodies, we need to make sure they are fed every two hours, are fully hydrated (HUGE!), get lots of healthy touch,  and have sensory activities every two hours.  Sleep is also very important for our kids.  Connecting is being "fully present" and spending lots of time with them, looking at the belief behind the behavior, lots of eye contact, warmth of voice, playful engagement, and nurturing play.  Correcting---Dr. Purvis describes this parenting as "investment parenting" addressing the mind, will and emotions.  Everything you do should build trust, preciousness, allow child to use voice, and help child self-regulate.  Correcting needs to be immediate, direct, efficient, action-based, and leveled at the behavior, not the child.  Great stuff!

If you are interested, the Empowered to Connect website has tons of free info on it---many short clips with Dr. Purvis and the Monroes.  I can't say enough about the conferences--if you get a chance, please try to attend!  You will leave with a much better understanding of who you are and what you need to do for your children.

So here are some great quotes--

"There are answers for everything our children need, but we have to understand the issues in order to find the answers." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"To correct a behavior, I'm first going to have to address the belief that drives that behavior." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"I can't think of a better reason to change the way you parent than to more faithfully meet the needs of your child." -- Michael Monroe

"We as parents must learn to recognize the difference between a brain problem and a behavior problem." -- Deb Jones

"We can take away violence by giving a child a voice."
-- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"Healing is about meeting a child right where he is and loving him there." -- Dan Coley

"As a parent, it is better to err and repair than to never err at all." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"We have to realize that children who are adopted are constantly seeing and being seen through the lens of adoption." -- Terri Coley

"God has designed us for relationship. This is why the most powerful tool for changing the human brain is...another human brain." -- Michael Monroe

"You cannot lead a child to a place of healing if you do not know the way yourself." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"We all get stuck sometimes, but kids from hard places get stuck more easily, more frequently, and stay stuck longer." -- Amy Monroe

"If we give them a chance, our kids want to be connected to us even more than we want to be connected to them." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"You have to manage your expectations so they don't manage you." - Amy Monroe

If there's not a connection, your child cannot feel safe. If you're not connected, you can anticipate behavioral issues.

I have to demonstrate love day in and day out to change what my children believe about love, about themselves, & about big people.

Got me thinking.....

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. 
Frank A. Clark

Cocooning.....part 2

I have found a fantastic book that outlines how to cocoon.  Our adoption/foster care ministry has been looking for a "how-to" guide for awhile and recently I stumbled across this book--

Gotcha! Welcoming Your Adopted Child Home


What a find!  It is a relatively quick read and really goes into why cocooning is important and how to do it.  So thankful to have this as a resource!!

Here is the information I found online that led me to the author and her book:

CocooningTM With Your Newly Adopted Child

By Patti M. Zordich, Ph.D.

Developing trust and security is the first building block in children's social-emotional development. Children with this foundation have more positive relationships with their parents, learn more easily, get along better with peers, and manage conflict better than children without this foundation.

Take a minute and imagine leaving everyone and everything you have ever known to live with strangers in a strange place, then having to do it all over again but now you are with strangers in a foreign country with a language you don’t understand. This describes the minimum of an adopted orphaned child’s early experience. What emotions do you

imagine you would feel in her shoes? Fear, anger, sadness, loneliness and hopelessness? Yes, these emotions are typical. It is important to remember that your child has lived with these emotions for most of her life, is living with them right now and will be living with them to some degree for a long time.

CocooningTM is one of the most important things you can do to develop a secure, trusting, strong relationship between you and your newly adopted child. Cocooning also helps you become familiar with your new child, her temperament, abilities and challenges. Cocooning helps newly adopted children adjust to a new home and family members. Ultimately, Cocooning helps parents provide a safe haven for their new child.

The following are 5 steps for Cocooning. These steps apply to day-to-day life with your newly adopted child for 0 months to 1 year following homecoming.

1. Keep your child with you and stay close to home. Be sure to keep your newly adopted child with one parent and stay home as much as possible. This is difficult for most people, especially when you have other children. There are things that must be taken care of outside of the home, such as taking siblings to and from their activities, doctor’s appointments, shopping. It’s important, however, to make every effort to keep these outings with your newly adopted child to a minimum for a while and it’s essential that one parent keep the child close by most of the time. Try to find help from friends, family and/or church to help you with these outside activities. I’ve found that it’s helpful for the family to assemble a “respite team” of people who want to help orphans but don’t feel called to adopt.

2. Keep new toys and music simple.  Early developmental play is essential for healthy emotional & cognitive development. Children adopted out of orphan care or foster care often missed out on this type of play. Choose toys that are appropriate for 0 - 1 year of age, no matter the age of your child. Keep the number of toys to a minimum. Toys such as shape sorters, pull toys and blocks provide versatility, durability, attractiveness, and ease of use, limits sensory over-stimulation and helpgive the child a sense of self. These toys are not intended to be educational. Yes, it will help brain development, but the purpose of these toys is to help your child develop a secure attachment with you and to begin to heal her emotional wounds. Your sensitivity and responsiveness and the pleasurable, relaxed encounters cuddling and playing with these toys will make this possible.

Avoid electronic toys, videos, television and other electronic devices such as iPads during this time.

3. Be present with your child. Watch, listen, be quiet. Being present in the moment is an unknown experience for many Americans. More typically we are distracted by our "to do list," worries or expectations - anything but the present moment. To be present in the moment take a few slow, gentle breaths in through your nose, filling your abdomen and out quietly through our mouth. Do this once for every letter of your name. Notice the sights, sounds, and physical sensations you’re experiencing in the moment. When you’re truly present with your child, you are allowing her to be just as she is right in this moment. You let go of expectations for your child or yourself. You marvel at your child and at yourself.

4. Look beyond negative behavior. Instead of viewing negative behavior as manipulation and defiance, try to see your child’s unmet early developmental needs being expressed: fear of abandonment, anger at being abandoned shame of rejection.

Tommy, a four year old boy who was 13 months old on his Gotcha! Day, was feeling scared and anxious about because his mother had just left for an overnight trip. Not understanding these emotions and being unable to express these emotions, he became distractible, overactive and defiant. Kneeling down beside his son, his father stated, “You have some big feelings inside.” Tommy put his hand on dad’s knee and leaned against him. His father added, “I wonder if you might have some feelings about Mommy going away.” Tommy said meekly, “She won’t come back.” Dad then proceeded to reassure Tommy that mommy would return, told him that he also missed her and put a her framed photo in a spot Tommy could see frequently. He also stayed closer to Tommy and spent a little more time playing and reading with him until mother returned.

Just like this father, when your child is acting out, consider what needs might be underlying this negative behavior. Provide her a sense of safety by comforting and nurturing her while teaching limits in a kind manner.

5. Keep Cocooning time simple and frequent, but not continuous. Both you and your child need a break from each other.

Cocooning is simple, but how easy it is depends on the individual adult. If you are comfortable with being in the moment, at ease with your child and patient, then

Cocooning will come easily. If you have high expectations for yourself and your child, find it difficult to be still and playing with children is a little out of your comfort zone, then Cocooning will be more challenging for you. However, follow these simple steps and read Gotcha! Welcoming Your Adopted Child Home, and you can be a natural!

The Gotcha! book has a lot more detailed information---highly suggest it for anyone considering adoption or in the process.

Happy Birthday Sweet V!

Today you turn 5!  Such a wonderful age!

We love your beautiful smile and the sparkle in your eyes precious V!  We can't wait to hold your pudgy hands and cuddle with you.  We pray that today you are celebrated---maybe you will get a special treat for your birthday.  We will all be praying for a special day for you.  You are a beautiful little girl sweet V!



We are all excited to get to know you more and more.  We have been told you love the outdoors , as well as music and dancing and books.  We can't wait to explore the beauty of creation with you, marveling with you at butterflies and birds and frogs.

We are all anxious to dance and sing together.  I can't wait to cuddle with you and read many, many books together, especially some of our favorites.

You are an amazing treasure V!  We pray that you will find out soon that you have a family waiting to come for you.  We love you sweet girl!  We celebrate that this is the last birthday you will have in an orphanage.