Empowered...

I love that word!  Bill and I recently went to an Empowered to Connect conference for foster and adoptive parents.  It was an amazing couple of days!  Our foster care/adoption ministry has all of Dr. Karyn Purvis' DVDs so we are very familiar with her and love what we have read and seen already.

The conference was so much more!  We both walked away truly feeling empowered to help S and V.  One quote that Michael and Amy Monroe had that hit home in many ways was "there is no adoption without loss".  We will know of some of the losses our girls have experienced but many of the other losses only God will know---and we want to help them walk through the healing.

I will share some of the great quotes from the weekend and hope to add more about what we learned later.  Three things that Dr. Purvis' ideas focus on are empowering, connecting and correcting---working on body, spirit and soul.  For our childrens' bodies, we need to make sure they are fed every two hours, are fully hydrated (HUGE!), get lots of healthy touch,  and have sensory activities every two hours.  Sleep is also very important for our kids.  Connecting is being "fully present" and spending lots of time with them, looking at the belief behind the behavior, lots of eye contact, warmth of voice, playful engagement, and nurturing play.  Correcting---Dr. Purvis describes this parenting as "investment parenting" addressing the mind, will and emotions.  Everything you do should build trust, preciousness, allow child to use voice, and help child self-regulate.  Correcting needs to be immediate, direct, efficient, action-based, and leveled at the behavior, not the child.  Great stuff!

If you are interested, the Empowered to Connect website has tons of free info on it---many short clips with Dr. Purvis and the Monroes.  I can't say enough about the conferences--if you get a chance, please try to attend!  You will leave with a much better understanding of who you are and what you need to do for your children.

So here are some great quotes--

"There are answers for everything our children need, but we have to understand the issues in order to find the answers." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"To correct a behavior, I'm first going to have to address the belief that drives that behavior." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"I can't think of a better reason to change the way you parent than to more faithfully meet the needs of your child." -- Michael Monroe

"We as parents must learn to recognize the difference between a brain problem and a behavior problem." -- Deb Jones

"We can take away violence by giving a child a voice."
-- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"Healing is about meeting a child right where he is and loving him there." -- Dan Coley

"As a parent, it is better to err and repair than to never err at all." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"We have to realize that children who are adopted are constantly seeing and being seen through the lens of adoption." -- Terri Coley

"God has designed us for relationship. This is why the most powerful tool for changing the human brain is...another human brain." -- Michael Monroe

"You cannot lead a child to a place of healing if you do not know the way yourself." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"We all get stuck sometimes, but kids from hard places get stuck more easily, more frequently, and stay stuck longer." -- Amy Monroe

"If we give them a chance, our kids want to be connected to us even more than we want to be connected to them." -- Dr. Karyn Purvis

"You have to manage your expectations so they don't manage you." - Amy Monroe

If there's not a connection, your child cannot feel safe. If you're not connected, you can anticipate behavioral issues.

I have to demonstrate love day in and day out to change what my children believe about love, about themselves, & about big people.