As we wait...

We have learned that the adoption process involves a lot of waiting (and praying during that wait).  We continue to wait for the letter with the I-800a approval.

Yesterday and today there has been a heightened level of excitement in our house.  Not only is it Christmas, we all get a break from school which is much appreciated.  Our kids exchange names with each other and share their gifts to each other on Christmas Eve, and we usually give them one from us to unwrap.

We were making up cookie dough yesterday morning, and I got to thinking about what next year's Christmas will be like with S and V in our home.  My mind started to wonder about what they were doing at that time--at dinner time on Christmas Eve in their country.  Do they go to church?  Have they heard about the amazing gift God gave us in Christ and the reason for Christmas celebration?  Do they have any idea of the story of Jesus' birth?  Do they have anything special happen at the orphanage to celebrate Christ's birth?  My heart longs to be with them, to have them a part of the excitement, a part of the celebration of Jesus' birthday, to have them included in the anticipation of the day and the joy of spending time with family---eating too much, playing lots of games, and laughing often.  We were listening to a Steven Curtis Chapman Christmas CD while working in the kitchen and a song titled "All I Really Want For Christmas is a Family" came on---we both thought about how deep of a longing that must be for so many this year (and every year)---not the things that our other kids or other American kids want--but the deep-seated, God-given need for a family.  God didn't design any child to live in an orphanage.

At church yesterday, we ended up in the narthex area (it was impossible to find seven seats together).  A little 18 month old girl kept hopping past us---sweet as could be.  Bill and I talked after service and both had the same things running through our heads---what did our girls do at Christmas at that age?  What did they do every day at that age?  So many thoughts about what their lives were like pre-orphanage and in the orphanage.  We know we will find out more when we travel---all pieces of who they are.

During the songs we sang, my mind wandered to so many memories of Christmases growing up--and Dad.  How I miss him this year!  He always made our Christmases so special, spending so much time thinking about what each of us would like and also taking time to take us to Christmas concerts and activities.  Rejoicing that he is with Jesus this year but missing his presence here.  Grateful that we can spend time today with Mom!

So thankful for God's gift to us---His precious Son Jesus.  And that through Jesus, God has adopted us as His children.

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world 

to be holy and blameless in His sight.  

In love He predestined us for adoption 

to sonship through Jesus Christ, 

in accordance with His pleasure and will--

to the praise of His glorious grace, 

which He has freely given us in the One He loves.  

Ephesians 1:4-6

May we truly understand "Immanuel"---God with us.

Got me thinking......

Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."
Francis Chan

I want to hold your hand....

These hands--

And these---

Can't wait to be able to hold these hands and love these two sweeties!  The days are flying, but it still seems like it is a long time until we will get to meet our girls.  S, our 5 year old, will turn 6 in a month--how we would love to celebrate with her!  All in God's timing.

On other "hand" news, Jenny, Bill and I had our hands held for fingerprinting for our I-800A.  Yeah!  Last week we got a letter with a date to come in on it, but we would have had a hard time for Bill and Jenny to get off work so we decided to walk in on Friday.  Thankfully they took us!  After 20 minutes, we were done.  Now we pray that the officer assigned gets our paperwork approved quickly.

An I-800A is the US Citizenship and Immigration (USCIS) form used to initiate the adoption process for Hague countries.  It usually takes 2-3 months for this to be processed.  You send your application, along with your home study, birth and marriage certificates and a big check and then get a fingerprinting (biometric) date.  We sent our application on 11/20.  So thankful to be where we are and praying that we will get approval quickly!  Once we get that, we have it notarized and apostilled and add it to our dossier.  Then our dossier is ready to submit to the girls' country.  Can't wait!

Every day is a day closer......

Did you know...

While preparing for the benefit concert, I was pulling together some statistics and wanted to share here.  Sometimes numbers can be so hard to comprehend---they are out of our realm of understanding the magnitude.  But each number below is a child---someone with a name and a story of their own, many times with much pain that is no fault of their own but often based on where and when they were born. Only by God's grace was I born in a country where my parents could provide for us and give us medical care and an education.  Only by His grace are we able to do the same for our children, never having to decide which child gets which meal (something the moms in Mekele, Ethiopia do daily), never having to wonder how to get medication for my children (other than which cupboard it is in), and never having to decide whether or not to turn my child into an orphanage because I know if I wouldn't they wouldn't survive.  When Jenny and I were in Ethiopia, we found out this is the reality for many of the moms/families there.  Thank You God for that opportunity and for opening my eyes to the need in the world.  Help me to always see ways You have for us to help others and also appreciate Your many blessings, the majority of which we take for granted.

As you read these statistics, try to think of the number as real children---here are pictures of some of the beautiful kids we met in Ethiopia--all who may fit into one of these "numbers" below---

Every day, 5,670 children become orphans.  That is 236 per hour. Almost 4 a minute.

Depending on what you read, the estimates of orphans in the world are 147-162 million children.  147,000,000  to  162,000,000 children.  Half the population of our country.  Each child with a story---each child desiring a family.

If the numbers of orphans were a country, orphans would be the 8th largest in the world!

95% of the world's orphans are over 5.  How many of these kids are overlooked because they aren't young!

In eastern Europe, less than 50% of the orphan population will live to see their 20th birthday.  In eastern Europe, of the orphans that survive their 20th birthday, 50% will end up in organized crime, drugs, or prostitution.

To look at these statistics in a different way, think of what you did in the last hour.

In the past hour---
1,667 children under the age of five died of malnutrition and vaccine-preventable diseases
1,625 children were forced to live on the streets by the death or abuse of an adult
600 children died of starvation
257 children were orphaned because of HIV/AIDS
115 children became victims of sex trafficking

Each of these children, fearfully and wonderfully made.  Each made in the image of God.  Each treasured by Him.

We are all beginning to prepare.....

As we as a family begin to think about bringing our girls home, we are all thinking about ways to incorporate them into our lives.  We had about an inch of snow on Friday, and Nate and Ellie made snow angels.  They both said they can't wait to play outside in the snow with their sisters.

At the benefit concert, two of Jenny's friends were selling hats and scarves they make to help orphans.  They have helped fund many adoptions, including donating half of their earnings on the night of the concert to our family!  Thank you Sarah and Rachel!  They are two amazing young gals---they help adoptive families in so many ways, from traveling to babysit to advocating for so many of "the least of these".  We are blessed to know both of you!

Jenny bought two darling hats for her new sisters---

If you are interested in looking at other items they have for sale, take a look here-- a great place to shop for Christmas!  http://handiworkforelijah.weebly.com/

The paperwork is on its way---

Yesterday we fedexed our dossier documents!  What a great feeling to send this package out, one huge step closer to bringing the girls home!

The dossier is a group of documents that the girls' birth country require.  Each of these documents need to be notarized and the notarized documents all need to be apostilled (which means the notary signature is checked to see if it is legitimate).  The documents include things like our home study, medical reports for all of us in the family, birth certificates for all, financial information, background checks, etc. ---all things to allow the country to know we are who we say we are.  

Our dossier will be sent to the in country facilitator who will begin translating it while we wait for our USCIS fingerprinting.  We sent all that paperwork on Monday.  The paperwork race is almost over!

Many wonder why international adoption is so expensive---we've learned a big part of it is the cost of verifying who you say you are.  There is a cost for the majority of the documents in some way---a cost for sending, pulling info (our county charged $20 per person for background checks).  The home study is really a way to give the birth country a overview of who you are---all with a cost.  We had to have checks on every county we lived in since we were 18---many had a cost to check.  And all this is done for the safety of the adoptive children.  We have had people ask why it is so expensive---the stack of paperwork we sent yesterday had a cost to it---all completely worth it!  What is the cost of two lives? And we are thankful that the birth countries have requirements for the adoptive families to protect the children.

So thankful to have made the trip to Fedex yesterday!!  Praying that all of it will be processed quickly.

T-shirts

Joe created these wonderful t-shirts!  We were all thrilled at how they turned out!

We are selling them for $15 and have sizes small to XXL.

If you are interested in ordering, please e-mail me at mommaruthies@gmail.com

I love our models:)

Bracelets

We are selling beautiful Haitian bracelets to help bring our girls home!  The wonderful thing about the bracelets is that they are made by men and women in Haiti and allow these people to provide for their families.

The bracelets are from the Apparent Project.  Here is some info from their website--

The Apparent Project artisans guild uses discarded materials such as cereal and cracker boxes, oil drums and trash paper to create beautiful pieces of jewelry,journals, and stylish home decor. While redeeming the Haitian landscape, these artisans are also bringing new hope to their families, employing themselves for a brighter future and earning the means to pay for their children's food, shelter, and education. That means less orphans, less crime, less garbage, less stress, and a whole lot more beauty.

Our name reflects our passion: We want to see Haitian families stay together. Skill development and employment addresses the needs of families before they are at the point of desperation, driven to give their children to an orphanage because of exteme poverty. After all, the vast majority of Haiti's "orphans" have not been orphaned by parental deaths, earthquakes, hurricanes, or floods, but are children of living parents who gave them up simply because they knew that an orphange could feed their child. Lagging adoptions, overcrowding, and lack of accountability has made many orphanages less than adequate homes for children, who often develop severe emotional problems such as reactive attachment disorder. This is why we think of our artisans' guild as an "un-orphanage." We are finding creative ways for Haitians to be self-employed so that they can take care of their own children with dignity and joy.

They have a wonderful video on their website-- http://www.apparentproject.org/  We love what they are doing to help families stay together!

We are selling the bracelets for $8 each, with half of the money going to help with our adoption and half going to support families in Haiti.   We think the bracelets would be a great stocking stuffer or Christmas gift for many of those who are hard to buy for.

Please contact me if you are interested in ordering---mommaruthies@gmail.com

And for all the Packer fans out there, look at how you can share your Packer pride!

The days are flying by...

We had a wonderful Children of God benefit concert at our church on Saturday night.  Our orphan ministry has been working hard for months to pull everything together.  The music was great and turnout was wonderful!  Our youth pastor (who is part of our ministry and is adopting from Ethiopia) had a great sermon on Sunday morning, Orphan Sunday.  His challenge to our congregation to live out James 1:27 and be doers of the Word caused a traffic jam around our ministry's table after service--so great!  We had a wonderful response to our annual foster care backpack drive, as well as many asking for information about foster care/respite care/mentoring and adoption.  God is good!

Life is been full but great lately.  I keep telling Bill that I feel like God has me in a refining process--doing so many more things that I never felt I would be capable of.  And doing all with His strength---and that is why I would never think I could do all that I have and not be too overwhelmed (although some of the kids might argue that part about being overwhelmed!).  So thankful for His faithfulness!

I am seeing more and more every day ways to improve what I am doing, some of those eliminating my expectations of how things should be.  I've learned more about flexibility and thinking out of the box the last month or so with the travel Nate, Ellie and I have done for some therapy for Nate (more to follow later on that), seeing the time in the van as a time with a captive audience and spending lots of time listening to great books together, as well as finding creative ways to learn on the road.

In adoption news, we got the draft of our home study yesterday!  Yeah!  Lots of excitement here when that e-mail arrived.  So thankful to be almost to the point of getting our I800A in.

Joe is loving his Photoshop and Illustrator classes.  He designed the logo for our Show Love foster care backpack drive and helped me design a bunch of things for handouts/boards for the concert.  So thankful to have creative kiddos!  And kids willing to help!

Here is a fun sample of Joe's "homework"--yes, that is Ellie flying on a leaf!

An amazing blog post which provokes many thoughts--

I've never seen this blog before but saw this post linked elsewhere.  This is the story of a man who was adopted out of foster care and now advocates for orphans.  Very thought provoking--

http://stinkytofuandotherthings.blogspot.com/2013/10/thirty.html?m=1

Loved this--  Love brings Hope, Hope brings Healing, with Healing there is Life.

And this---Church ARISE.  Go and be LOVE.

Got me thinking......

"I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  What I can do, I should do and, with the help of God, I will do."  Edward Hale

Where we are in the process---

Right now we are waiting for our home study to be finished, praying that it will be done in the next two weeks.  Here is a description of what a home study is--

The purpose of the home study is personal reflection combined with education; it is a sharing between the adoptive family and the social worker of experiences, expectations, and motivation.  The home study consists of at three face-to-face meetings with the adoptive family, at least one in the home and one in the office. Included in the home study are a biography of each parent, educatioonal hours, financial information, lots of background checks, employment history, medical records and an examination of the home.  

We really like our social worker and have had some great conversations with her to help us prepare our home and our family for the girls.  We have loved reading/watching anything by Dr. Karyn Purvis!  Such an amazing woman and so much wisdom!  So much of what she shares about how to attach with your child is very similar to what we learned from Dr. Jim (Dr. James D. MacDonald from Ohio State) with Nate.   


Once the home study is finished, we will apply for USCIS fingerprinting.  Once that occurs, we will submit our dossier (the paperwork that goes to the girls' country).  The dossier will be translated and presented to the government.  If they approve us, our adoption agency's in-country facilitator will visit the girls, getting information from anyone who is involved in their care and getting more pictures and videos for us.  

I was talking to a friend who is also in the process of adopting.  She mentioned how she feels like she is starting to attach to their daughter (they are at about the same point in the process as we are).  She said that she realized that their families' process of attaching now is similar to what their daughter will feel when she comes home.  I thought about how once  I found out I was pregnant, I would think so often about the baby and the attachment process started.  When we lost the baby before Jenny, it was so hard for me.  I know God is working in all our hearts to prepare us for expanding our family, each of us in the special way He knows we need.  So thankful He is a faithful Father and has a much deeper love for the fatherless than we do.

Dreaming....

I often find myself dreaming of what life will be like when the girls come home.  I know there will be a period of time when we are all getting used to our new normal, including the girls.  Right now we don't know what their life is like for them--do they have a routine at the orphanage, do they go to school, do they play outside, are their caregivers warm to them, what do they like to eat, what do they like to do..... So many unknowns.

I'm not the only one dreaming--Nate and Ellie had a long conversation the other day about what they are going to do with the girls.  They also asked a lot of questions--have they made snow angels, have they built snowmen, do they know how to climb trees, do they know how to build with Legos???

Dreaming of the day when I can put shoes on these sweet feet---

and take a bouquet from these sweet hands---

Praying they are home before the dandelions appear!

Special Needs

Bill and I were interviewed and filmed for a benefit concert our church's orphan ministry is having.  While Bill was talking during the filming, God brought the following thought to my mind.

Our girls were listed with some special needs after their names.  A list of things that they can do and things they struggle with.  After we got more information on them, along with the "list" were codes, numbers related to their developmental and physical delays and needs.

While filming, the thought came to me.  Most people seeing their "write ups" would see them as sweet girls with a list of special needs.  But the only special need God sees is the need for a family.  A family in which they will be treasured for who they are---girls fearfully and wonderfully made, made in the image of their Creator.  A family in which they will understand a father and mother's love so that they can understand their Heavenly Father's love.  A family that will love them just the way they are, regardless of whatever lists follow their names.  A family who realizes that we all have our lists---our lists of struggles, sins, and things to work on improving.

We are so thankful we can fill that special need for a family for our sweet girls!  Please pray that our paperwork will be done quickly!

Got me thinking......

It all begins....

We saw their faces almost five weeks ago.  Two sweet sisters living in an eastern European orphanage.  One with pigtails, and one handing a dandelion to the photographer.  Beautiful blue eyes.  Two treasures whose profiles have a lot of "does not/can not"s.  But to us, two girls fearfully and wonderfully made, made in His image.

We decided to pray.  God has placed a heart for orphans in us thirteen years ago after having Joe.  We seriously considered adoption then, given my long bedrest and comment by my OB that any further pregnancies would result in longer and more restrictive bedrest.  We considered adopting a 2+ year old from Guatamela, feeling we would be open to physical needs (having been involved with those with Dad) but not developmental needs.

A move to a fixer upper and some major medical issues for Dad resulted in our lives being stirred up and adoption being put on the backburner for a bit.  When we considered it again, we felt we should trust God with future children and ended up having two more, with no bedrest.  And God blessed us with one of those two having developmental needs.

For six years we have prayed many times for His wisdom, asking Him to show us what Nate needs.  He has been so faithful and our faith has grown so much through this walk.  We have met some amazing people who have done so much to empower us to become better parents to Nate.  Our bookshelves have been filled with many books on all kinds of things--gluten free cookbooks, nutritional ideas, speech books, auditory processing, sensory processing, brain development.  I wonder what people would think of my google searches at times!  But how thankful we are to live in a time when we can educate ourselves and through what we learn, help our children to grow and blossom.  And how thankful we are to have a great music and speech therapist!

The words "speech, language, and developmental delays" didn't sound scary or undoable to us---instead we thought and continue to think of different things we could do to help these sweet sisters to grow into the workmanship God created them to be---truly treasures!

Bill struggled with the thought of adoption, actually telling me when he saw the picture of the girls that his heart was hard to adoption.  We agreed to pray.  In three weeks or so, I saw a huge change come over him.  After much time in prayer and the Word, he told me he didn't want to lose the girls.  

On September 1st, we decided to jump into the world of adoption and bring the girls home!  All of us were so thrilled---Jenny offering to help in any way she can, Jack happy about the decision as long as a 15 passenger van doesn't become the vehicle of choice, Joe excited about the possibility of traveling with us, Nate spending ten minutes telling us all the things he will teach the girls ("I will teach them to talk" was his first statement---too sweet! ), and Ellie just thrilled to be a big sister.

As Christians, we feel that something God wants us to do is to take care of the fatherless, in whatever way we can at the point of life we are in.  We have both traveled to Ethiopia to serve in orphanages, including a teen orphanage and a HIV+ orphanage. When we met the precious children living there, we saw each one of them as a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made—each child with potential and uniqueness, each with their own story and each with worth.  Not a statistic, but a child.  A child with a past, many of them a past that contained a lot of pain and trauma.  A child with a "diagnosis" that may limit them forever.  But we knew them as wonderful children, filled with smiles and laughter, thrilled to spend time playing and laughing, talented beyond belief considering their "school" and activities.  


We see our girls as just that---not just two of the 147 million orphans, but two precious girls who, by no fault of their own, find themselves living in an orphanage and not understanding the words mother or father.  Two girls that God sees as just as special as all of our kids.  Two girls, who despite their "codes" for their "disabilities" have so much to offer a family---the beauty of seeing a child truly blossom and become the work of art God designed them to be.  
We would love your prayers as we continue down the path to bring them home.  Prayers for their safety, protection and health.  Prayers that someone in the orphanage is teaching them about their true Father.  Prayers that our paperwork will all come together quickly.  Prayers for financial needs.  Prayers for travel as quickly as possible.  
We are blessed beyond belief to be on this journey and know we will come to understand God's heart for the fatherless in ways we couldn't imagine while on this journey.  God is so good!
Two areas of Scripture I read while we were in prayer (they were just in my daily readings) were:

Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;

Maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

Rescue the weak and needy;

Deliver them from the hand of the wicked. 
     Psalm 82:3-4

Enlarge the place of your tent,

Stretch your tent curtains wide,

Do not hold back. 
      Isaiah 54:2

So we move forward in our walk to rescue the needy and defend the cause of the fatherless, enlarging the place of our tent and not holding back.  We are excited to see what He reveals on this journey!